


The Mermaid and Poseidon

by MzTropiqWonder



Category: Mermaid Novel by Patty Dann, Mermaids (1990)
Genre: 1960's, 1970's, Angst, Christina Ricci - Freeform, Drama, F/M, Humor, Michael Schoeffling/Jake Ryan, Romance, Vietnam War, cher, winona ryder - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-10-28 22:05:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17795603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MzTropiqWonder/pseuds/MzTropiqWonder
Summary: I'm Charlette Flax. Remember me? The Jewish teenage  girl who wanted to be a nun? If that doesn't sound crazy enough, I also fell in love with a man twice my age (Joe), had a chaotic life with my mother and little sister. After Joe left, he went to fight in Vietnam, I'm raising my sister mainly on own and life is just as crazy and just as complicated even though I'm no longer a teenage girl. If you're curious to know what happened to me since the last time, feel free to drop by...





	1. Chapter 1

This story is my version of a sequel to the movie Mermaids, who starred Winona Ryder and Cher. I do not own the characters which belongs to the original author Patty Dann.

For those who would like to read Mermaids, please look up Mermaids by Patty Danns.

Please be aware there are adult contents in this story.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**The Mermaid and Poseidon**

 

 

**Chapter 1**

 

 

 

Turmoil, to describe my life at this stage the only word that comes to mind is turmoil. I don’t know why I try anymore, but I was determined to try every night to catch some sleep, exhaustion caught up with me. Instead of being a vivacious 21 year old woman, I was a drained old lady, aged 21.  
It’s been 3 years since my little sister Kate, and I lived with Mrs Flax, and about 2 years since we last saw her. Mrs Flax is my mother, it felt strange to call her Mom so I always called her Mrs Flax.  
It all changed one fateful day with a crash while leaving Grove, a small town in the south of Boston.  
Since we lived there close to three years, I thought we finally found our forever home there, and as usual that wasn’t meant to be. Lou her on and off boyfriend at the time finalised his divorce to his wife Sofia and bought her the biggest diamond ring I’ve ever seen and officially proposed. She got cold feet as always, it got too real.   
“I am not going to spend the rest of my life listening to that man, drab on and on about astro turf,” was her excuse.   
So for the 19th time in our lives, we had to pack our bags and hit the road. I was furious, I had finally decided on what I wanted to do with my life and Kate, adored Lou for he was the closest thing to a father we ever had. Our screaming match in the car distracted Mrs Flax, she didn’t realise she steered us all into the path of a truck on the wrong side of the road. The collision knocked us out, Mrs Flax had a broken arm and a broken knee, Kate suffered a concussion and a broken leg while I fractured my skull and broke some ribs, we were lucky we survived.  
In our state the Police notified Mrs Flax’s family in Minerva, Ohio, who took us in to nurse us back to health. It took us about 8 weeks to heal from our critical conditions and it didn’t take long for Mrs Flax to get restless.  
My grandparents and Aunt were wonderful, and for the life of me I didn’t understand why Mrs Flax left in the first place. I guess that was always the difference between us, I preferred to stay put while she preferred living life like a gypsy. Kate and I insisted on staying, we loved the stability around us and fed up with uprooting in our lives.   
“Fine, I’ll leave and the two of you can stay,” she said in a huff and left never looking back. At first, I thought I could finally spread my wings, which I did, but at the same time we couldn’t believe she just left us like that. Reflecting back later, I understood that it was out of guilt. That she as a fully grown woman almost killed us with her decisions and actions, although she never purposely meant to, it frightened her to the core. Something I understood perfectly well, however I didn’t run away from my guilt, nor was I an adult and I tried very hard to make up for it ever since. You see while in Grove I fell in love, I was a 14 year old girl in love with a 29 year old man. As alarming as it sounds it was the best experience of my life, it shaped me up in unexpected ways. However, I let my hormones get the better of me. I was supposed to look after my baby sister, instead she almost drowned in a lake, while Joe and I were busy losing our virginity. Joe, just thinking of his name gets me in a knot, Joe Poseidon Peretti.  
I toss and turn in my bed trying to wind down for the night, trying to keep my mind from racing which seemed impossible. I couldn’t watch the news or read a newspaper without having nightmares and the world around me was drastically changing. I once was obsessed with Christianity and planning on becoming a nun, I now find it hard to believe with all the chaos that there would be such a being would let it all happen. Oh god, that almost sounded like Mrs Flax and it repels me that I could sound like her.  
I fight hard not to let the burning, stinging hot tears from falling onto my pillow, trying not to worry to death, as a terrifying thought crept through.  
I immediately sit up in my bed, switched on the light by my bedside and open the top drawer. I reached in for the shoe box filled with letters and postcards, I’ve collected from him over 5 years. Waiting for one became excruciatingly difficult, not knowing if I was going to receive one or not and lately I haven’t received any from him for over 18 months.  
I start with the postcards, which I received after he left Grove, where he was born. They were short and sweet, then progressed onwards to letters, since a post card was too small to write more words.

Dear Charlotte,  
I read, starting with the first letter he wrote, after a couple of weeks Mrs Flax left.  
I really hope you’re well, I’m glad you kept me posted about your move and I am very sorry to hear about your accident, I am so relieved to know that you are ok and had your grandparents to take you and Kate in.   
As for me, I have some very big changes in my life and I would very much like to see you again.  
My heart did somersaults in my chest reading those words, the same way it did when I first read it 4 years ago. Because that’s when I realised that he was the only man I truly loved, and his visits sealed it.  
I let myself remember that day, it was a clear Friday afternoon in Minerva after school, working in my aunt’s bakery which I loved. I quickly made my way from the back to the cash register, as the store doorbell rang to warn us someone came in.  
“Good afternoon sir, Can I hel…” God strike me down I stopped in my tracks, my mouth ajar when I realised who it was. I received the letter the week before and my reply couldn’t have reached him in time for him to be here, could it? Kate who followed me shrieked “Joe!!!”   
Taking off his cap, he bowed his head.  
“Hi” he said, looking straight at me flashing his shy smile that lit up the handsomest face.   
‘God how I missed his perfect oboe toned voice and New England accent.’  
“Hi,” I managed to say, still in shock I froze where I stood.  
“You both look taller,” he remarked, “your hair is longer.”   
I grew my hair longer then, nothing like the bob I had in Grove, instead it reached down past my shoulders, with a long fringe swept to the side. He noticed despite me having it in a ponytail that day.  
“You look different too,” I mumbled, looking at him dressed in an army uniform, his flowing black hair was cut short in a crew cut and his moccasins were replaced with army boots. It was then I realised the big changes in his life wasn’t about finding a wife, as I feared, it was considerably worse, he was going to war.  
“What is going on there??” my aunt questioned from the doorway that led to the back of the store.  
“It’s Joe, aunt Maggie, from Grove,” Kate answered as our aunt walked in.  
“Mam,” Joe nodded to greet her in his typical Joe way.  
“Oh!!” my aunt replied looking surprised, “good afternoon.”   
She and my grandparents had heard all about Grove, the people we met, the town, the convent and ‘Charlotte’s Boyfriend’ as Kate liked to tease, but what happened in the bell tower was never mentioned. If they knew the exact details, it would have been mortifying, besides Kate was much too young to know about such things.  
“How did you get here??” asked Kate breaking the nervous silence in the air.  
“I drove here from my base camp in Dahlonega, I thought I’d come to visit on my weekend off, after I’ve heard about the accident.”  
“Oy vey, you must be tired and hungry to drive such a long way,” aunt Maggie looked at me with her green eyes, “you can take him out back to the house, matoq sheli (my sweet)” she chimed. Aunt Maggie was bubbly, optimistic, a hopeless romantic and slightly traditional, a total opposite of Mrs Flax. Sure, Mrs Flax loved being romanced, but she was more of a man eater and a cynic to the core portraying a cheerful demeanour for everyone.  
“Um, I don’t mean to take too much of your time,” Joe replied shyly, I smiled to myself and was glad that part of him hadn’t changed.  
“Oy vey!!! Don’t be silly, we’re going to close for the day in an hour, and we’re going to have supper afterwards, there’s enough for everyone.”  
Joe’s face started to turn pink, he nodded “Thank-you.”  
Awkwardly I led him to the back of the bakery, where the tantalising smell of fresh bread and delicious pastry lingered in the air, while Kate ran ahead with excitement.  
I patted his arm whilst we walked through the French doors at the back towards the side of the house. The Bakery was located on the corner of the main street, and my grandparents three storey cream Victorian style house with black window shutters was located behind, surrounded by a European style garden. We stood there for a minute as I closed the doors behind me on cobblestone paving which covered most of the area connected to the store. Junipers shrubs, conifers and potted roses were elegantly placed to add colour and greenery to the surroundings. There was a long concrete bench strategically placed in the garden, it was my favourite place to sit when I wanted to read or study.  
“Did you want to sit out here or go inside?” I croaked shakily.  
“No!!!” Kate butted in “Come inside.”  
“As persistent as ever,” he casually remarked looking at me with a smirk.  
I dizzily smiled back, ‘Oy vey!! This is a lot to take in’.  
“My Grandmother and Grandfather are in there,” I informed him.  
“I would love to meet your Grandparents.”  
“Ok,” anxious, I didn’t know what was worse, Mrs Flax teasing or the reactions of my grandparents to him.  
“Busia, Zay-dee guest who came to visit us,” Kate announced as she ran through the kitchen.  
“Oy vey!!! Who??” Zay-dee (my grandfather) asked in his strong Polish/Hebrew accent, sitting at the kitchen table watching my Busia (grandmother) cook a stew.  
I never knew how she did it, like clock work after baking all day in the Bakery she’d be in the kitchen at the house cooking us a meal for dinner. No hors d'oeuvres like Mrs Flax, Busia cooked a proper main course often served with kosher bread Zay-dee freshly baked for the day.  
“Joe from Grove,” Kate answered matter of fact.  
Zay-dee and Busia looked at each other puzzled for a moment, then a light of realisation dawned as he gazed at me.  
“Oy vey,” he said softly as he stood up to greet Joe extending his hand, “Shalom, I’m Aaron Flax and this is my wife Anita.”  
Joe graciously shook his hand and nodded to Busia, “nice to meet you both, Joe Peretti.”  
“Shalom, shalom. Please come in and have a seat,” Busia wiped her hands and ushered us into the living room.   
I was amazed and taken aback that they didn’t get out the shot gun to shoot Joe yet.  
“Italian?” asked Zay-dee.  
“My father was from Naples, my mother was part Nepalese and Indian.”  
“Indian??” asked Busia puzzled, examining Joe closely.  
“American Indian, mam.”  
“Oy vey!!!” Busia chuckled, “no calling me mam, you can call me Busia.” She patted his face.  
“We have many good Italian customers who like to buy our bread,” Zay-dee went on, gesturing us to sit in one the leather sofa adorned with sheep skin.   
I was about to sit on the sofa made for two, to comfortably sit next to Joe on my left, but Busia squeezed in on my right shoving me closer to Joe. Kate sat opposite on one of the accent chairs, grinning like a Cheshire cat.  
“I like him,” Busia whispered in my ear.  
“You’re a soldier, have you come back from Vietnam or are you going there?”  
“As a matter of fact, sir, I’m in my second week in training, I have about 6 more weeks to go before I’m deployed to Vietnam,” Joe replied. My head spun from hearing this, and felt his hand squeeze my trembling hand by his side, he always had a way to calm me. Sweet Joe going to fight in a war didn’t seam right, there wasn’t much aggression in his body even though he was shaped like the statue of David.  
“Please, call me Zay-dee, it’s grandpa in Hebrew, no need for this sir business.”   
Joe blushed again, cleared his throat and sheepishly agreed, “ok si-r, um, Zay-dee.”  
“I have 2 grandsons, the eldest is in Vietnam, thankfully he will be back soon and the other is in University, studying to be a doctor.”  
“War, it is such a terrible, terrible thing, we escaped many many years ago from Poland,” Busia recounted looking at the tapestry map of Poland hanging over the fireplace. “Such destruction, we left everything behind, everything to come here.”  
“When I read what was happening to the Jews in Germany in 1933, I packed my wife and my 10 year old Margaretta to the United States as far away from Europe as possible. I didn’t believe the talk that they wouldn’t spread and I was right.” Watching my grandparents telling their story in unison for the millionth time, it resonated with me more than it ever did. Watching the war on the news was at a safe distance until now. My trembling hand still in his, I quietly watched him listen solemnly and I knew he must have been just as terrified.  
“Did you come a long way?” asked Busia.  
“Yes, mah, aah, busia,” he cleared his throat,” I drove from Dahlonega.”  
“Oy vey!! That is a very long way, you must be hungry, I’ll get you some food.”  
I tried to get up also to help.  
“No no no! you stay,” she ordered “Kate and Aaron will help.”  
I couldn’t believe it they left me alone with him.  
“Are you okay?” he gently said, while tenderly stroking my hair.  
I nodded, “are you?”  
He nodded back, with his fingers still lingering in my hair.  
My loose side ponytail purposely hid my bold spot, where the doctor partially shaved my hair to monitor my fractured skull from the accident. Despite my best efforts, he found it.  
“Does it hurt?”  
“No, not really, it was just a linear fracture with a small open wound which dried up quickly. I have to take some antibiotics for a while to prevent infections,” I blurted out, turning my head towards him and looked into his intense dark eyes. There was a sadness there I didn’t expect to see.  
“Charlotte, I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you,” he admitted. The atmosphere between us intensified, just as everyone walked in.  
Busia was carrying a tray with tea, hot chocolate and cups. Kate had a tray of chocolate toffee squares, pieces of pear pie and poppy seed cheese cake, while Zay-dee had a jug of warm milk.  
I hadn’t lived with my Grandparents for very long but what I did learn was that they loved feeding people.  
“Do you have somewhere to stay? It’s an awfully long way to drive back to your base tonight,” Zay-dee said with concern.  
“Uh, I thought I’d sleep in my car for the night and drive back in the morning,” Joe replied.  
“Oy vey!!! That won’t do,” Busia gasped, while pouring the tea and hot chocolate,” please stay the night, there is plenty of room.”  
“I really don’t want to trouble you.”  
“The decision has already been made, young man,” Zay-dee wisely informed, “pear pie or cheese cake?”

We chatted a little more, when aunt Maggie and her husband George walked in to announce that it was time to sit at the table. Again, I was placed to sit next to Joe and noticed how they warmed up to him. Could it be because they saw what I’ve always seen in him?  
We ate and chatted, questions were asked of Joe which he politely answered. He told everyone about his small nursery business he opened with his brother in Law down in Florida where his sisters lived. His quiet life over there, all the things I knew about from his postcards over the years.  
Then he mentioned the urge to serve his country, which was all knew to me and understood that despite all that I knew, there was a lot more to learn about Joe.  
Later in the night it was my responsibility to show him the guest bedroom, located on the second floor, my grandparents private living quarters.  
“It’s a big house,” he murmured, absorbing his surroundings.  
“It’s huge,” I agreed.  
“Where do you sleep?”   
My heart beat faster at this stage, remembering our kisses, and that night. I wasn’t the hopeless girl, who on occasions made poor decisions, like I was in Grove at that stage. I was a girl who wanted to be a writer and a better life. That night and the accident made me grow faster than my peers. Yet right at this moment, I crazily wanted to be in his arms.  
“On the third floor, the top floor,” I breathlessly mumbled, “Aunt Maggie’s quarters, Kate has one that used to belong to one of her sons and I have the spare one in the tower.”   
“The tower?” his eyes darkened and there was an uneasy silence. He swallowed hard, then kissed me on the cheek, said Goodnight entered the room and closed the door. In a daze I went to bed in my bedroom tower longing for him all night, an ironic predicament.  
In the morning I rushed out of bed not wanting to miss him before he went. Upon entering the kitchen, I saw him sitting there at the table waiting for me. Busia had packed a bag of bread with a flask of hot chocolate for him to take, he enjoyed it a lot the afternoon before.  
Mornings was a busy time for the Flax family at the store, so seeing Joe off was left up to me.  
We had breakfast and afterwards we walked up to his car, a mint coloured 1950 Ford Tudor.  
“I didn’t want to tell you I was going to Vietnam in a letter,” he finally revealed, standing close to me on the side street, “it wouldn’t have been the right thing to do.”  
I couldn’t find any words, crushed with emotions I nodded.  
“Would you be ok if I came to see you again next weekend? Your grandfather said I could.”  
“Yes,” I said as tears poured from my eyes, a small relief that this wasn’t going to be the last time I got to see him.  
He squeezed me in his strong arms, pecked me longingly on the cheek and then he was gone.  
I had six weeks of ups and downs then, waiting for the weekends for him and the crushing despair when we said goodbye.  
My Busia gave me some wise word to help me at the time, how we need to hold on to what is dearest to us when we are faced with huge obstacles. She also told me of how she first met Zay-dee when she was 16 and he a 26 year old gentleman. They were matched by their parents back in Poland to marry, their mutual respect grew to love, and they’ve built a life together ever since.   
“Your life is a bit different,” she went on, “you can choose who you let in your heart and who you want to marry, but make sure he is a very good man. Nothing good happens when they’re not.”  
I guessed that’s the reason the shot gun wasn’t taken out, and it felt empowering to be trusted.  
My heart shattered in little pieces when we said our final goodbye, he came once more at my grandparent’s house to spend time with me and my family. When I knew we were alone in the very early hours of the morning I snuck into his room.  
He jumped when my touch woke him up.  
“What are you doing?” he demanded, keeping an eye on the door.  
I climbed upon his lap, ran my hand over his stomach under his white singlet, feeling his muscles stiffen under my touch.  
“Make love to me,” I pleaded inches away from his lips.  
I watched the struggle in his eyes. The passion between us was persistent as always and I knew it got only stronger.  
He started to kiss me softly on the lips, his body relaxed for a moment as we cupped each other’s face. Our first real kiss in 3 years. I opened my mouth slightly to enjoy the taste of him, the familiar sweet tomato tastes and smell.  
As our passion heated some more, he ripped his lips away and shook his head.  
“I can’t,” he gently coaxed me off, stood up and looked down in my bewildered eyes.  
“Don’t you want this?” I asked a little hurt by his rejection.  
“I do,” he furiously whispered, “Charlotte please understand, I shouldn’t have given into my desires that night.”   
“What do you mean?” I murmured back angrily, “You think that night was a mistake?”  
He bowed his head, deflated, conflicted.  
“I love you Charlotte, more than you’ll ever know,” I swore then I could hear his heart shatter too, “but I’m breaking the law and you deserve a lot better than that. When my parents died I was very broken, people I loved moved away. I was holding on to everything that wasn’t there anymore and out of the blue you came along, a young girl who awakened everything I thought was gone inside of me and I shouldn’t have let it go that far.”  
He looked into my eyes and saw more of my confusion as he went on.  
“I thought if I could wait a little longer just until you got a little older that it’d be ok, but you’re already so much more mature than women twice your age, I forgot everything and lost control. That’s why I had to move away, but I never stopped caring for you or wanting to be with you.”  
He’s soothing voice calmed me, and I didn’t want to fight on our last day together. I moved closer to him and confessed. “We may never see each other again.”  
Tears streamed out of his eyes, “I know, I just wanted to make sure you were ok and not leave you without saying a proper goodbye. I don’t want to taint what could be our last moment together by doing the wrong things. Look at what happened the last time we got reckless.”  
I bowed my head, I knew he was right. He walked to the bedside table, took his car keys and handed them over to me.  
“I won’t be needing this for a while, so I want you to have it. You can drop me off at the bus station, I’ll find my way back to the camp.”  
“Thank-you,” I whispered, stunned beyond words.  
I numbly went to my room, flowing through the motion not looking forward to the inevitable.  
Later that morning, Zay-dee and Busia made an effort to come out to say their goodbyes and handed him a bag of bread and pastry.  
“Shalom Joseph,” Zay-dee started. “May God bless you and keep you safe,” Busia continued.  
“It was a pleasure for us to have known you, and we’ll pray you will come back to us safe.”  
Joe drove all the way to the Bus station, as I lay my head on his lap the same way we used to.  
As we walked towards the bus, the bus driver got out for a short break and I tried desperately to lighten the mood.  
“Remember when you were the bus driver?”  
He smiled a little, pulled me close into his arms and held me tight like a vice.  
“I am very proud of you Charlotte. Taking care of your sister, standing up to your mother, continuing to senior year. Promise me you will never stop,” Joe said in my ear, bravely brushing away the fear that threatened to eat him away.  
“I won’t stop, I promise,” I replied into his ear, not wanting to let go.  
We could hear the driver’s footstep approaching and it was almost time for him to leave.  
He lifted his head to kiss my lips, his tongue desperately tasted my mouth for what seemed a long time. The bus driver tooted, prompting Joe to leave me there with the taste of sweet tomatoes and the heaviest heart.


	2. Chapter 2

I find myself crossing a stream over a pond. How on earth did I get here? As I look around me I realise I’m back in Grove, and I’m on the grounds of The Protectors of the blessed souls, at dusk. Kate almost drowned here, trying to collect the rocks under my feet. She doesn’t collect them anymore, she grew out of it but her passion for swimming remained. Out of curiosity I keep walking along the rocks as the water trickles through them, my heart pounds harder, I can feel there’s something wrong. Why am I here? How am I here? Without warning, I see a man faced down in the water, I rush down toward him to pull him out. The current was strong, and the water is colder than ice. The man was so much bigger, and heavier than me. I struggle but I don’t give up until we get to the river bank. I push his body onto his back, to check if he was still breathing and gasp…  
“NO!!!” I wake up, choking with emotions and panting for breath.  
“Oy veh!! Precious what’s the matter,” huffed Zay-dee from the door way of my bedroom,” I could hear you screaming from down stairs.”  
I struggle for words, sitting up in my bed with letters and postcards from Joe scattered all over the sheets.   
“Oh, there, there, there!” Zay-dee rushed to hold me in his arms, as tears poured from my eyes.  
“I had a bad dream,” I said through gulps of air,” Joe drowned.”  
Wrapped in my grandfather’s arms, I feel worse. I should be comforting him, today is Busia’s funeral, we’re a house in morning. Of all days, she died the second day of the New Year, what should have been another year to add to their 49 years together, she had a major stroke and... There was no one to watch cooking in the kitchen, as they chatted, no one to finish his sentence as like she did, or no one to hold his hand with while they sat on the porch. It’s been 24 hours since she passed, and I understood just what he lost.   
I cannot afford to lose him too.  
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” I said holding myself together, I took a deep breath and pulled my body away so I could look at him, “how are you holding up?”  
He looked exhausted, I am positive that he hasn’t slept a wink, evidently exposed by the deep dark circles around his eyes.  
“Don’t avoid your own pain, matoq sheli,” he warned,” I am as well as you could imagine.”  
That broke my heart, I wish I could do something to make this all go away, my grandparents, my aunt and her family, allowed Kate and I to stay in a warm, stable place. Ever since we got here, we flourished under this roof, and I dread how life would have been like if we were still following Mrs Flax.  
I pushed all my stress and pain aside, pushed myself off the bed and held Zay-dee’s hand.  
“Come let’s have breakfast,” I was determined to take care of him, I need to be strong.  
Wrapped in my dressing gown I stepped down the stairs with Zay-dee by my side, there in the kitchen was my newly wed cousin David, aunt Maggie’s eldest son with his wife Sonora solemnly having breakfast, with Daniel aunt Maggie’s second son. I nodded my good morning, and they nodded back.   
“Are you alright?” asked Daniel quietly, as I stood next to him, while keeping my distance from David.   
“I’m fine, Are you?” I brushed off his worry, guessing that he heard me screaming in my sleep too. Interesting fact about the Flax family, news spread like wild fire under this roof, very much like Grove.  
He nodded, with a sadness still present in his eyes. Daniel is a very good man, kind and sensitive, he reminded me a lot of Joe.  
“What was the screaming about?” said Kate coming down the stairs, all wrapped up in her dressing gown.   
Now everyone in the kitchen were looking up at me. I didn’t dare look at David, his knowing looks gnawed at me. Right now, at this moment I refuse to listen to his opinion, it hurt too much, especially after revealing some facts that he knew about, from time to time.  
“It was just a bad dream,” I replied, refusing to take the attention, “Coffee Zay-dee?”  
“I’m not really that thirsty,” Zay-dee replied in the saddest voice.   
“You got to have at least a little coffee, it’s going to be a very long day,” I insisted.  
“Charlotte is right Zay-dee,” Daniel noted, backing me up “Doctors orders.”  
Zay-dee gave in and sat while I poured him some coffee and heated up some pastry, they were freshly made, this time by David, since his mother and Zay-dee couldn’t do it due to Busia’s passing. He has been working in the store since his return from Vietnam. Daniel on the other hand, stepped out of the family business working as a doctor. He doesn’t live here like the rest of us, he lives and practises in Boston. Upon visiting us for Hanukkah, our 8 days of celebration turned into tragedy three days after, just as he was going back home and not being able to save Busia almost destroyed him.  
Knowing that Daniel was there, I left Zay-dee with him and went to the living room to check on Aunt Maggie, who has been watching over Busia’s body with Uncle George, it was as I’ve learnt a Jewish custom. I am sure Daniel already did, but it doesn’t hurt to double check.  
I can see overwhelming amounts of bouquets left by loyal friends and customers on the front lawn through the windows, I stop myself from tearing up and ignored the heavy pain in my heart, I’ll worry about that later.  
As I approached my aunt sitting before Busia, I gently reach out and squeeze her shoulder from behind. She reached across with her hand and squeezed it back and looked up at me with blood shot eyes. She continuously says to Kate and me that we’re the daughter she’d always wished for, I can’t speak for Kate, but to me she’s the mother I’ve always wanted.  
“Morning,” I whispered, feeling strange standing before Busia’s plain casket. It was eerily quiet, until we could hear the phone ring in the kitchen.  
“It’s starting again,” Aunt Maggie commented looking towards the kitchen, hearing a faint hello as it went silent again. The two days prior was incredibly busy, when people rang from everywhere to pay their respects.  
The night after her death was taxing for us, Zay-dee, Aunt Maggie and I prepared Busia’s body to be buried today. It wasn’t something I was particularly looking forward to, but felt like it was my duty to participate and follow this Jewish tradition. Through the removal of her clothes and jewellery, I reflected on her loving gaze she gave to everyone she met. When we cleansed her body, I remembered waking up in the hospital looking up at her worried eyes and warm smile. During the purification of her body, I thought of her wise words which I’ve filed neatly in my head, knowing I’d need them again someday. While we dressed her, I was thankful that her passing was swift rather than long and painful. And when we placed her body in the plain coffin I wondered if there will be a time when I’d stop missing her and Joe.  
Deep in my thoughts, I jumped when Kate came up to me.  
“You’re not going to lose it on me, are you?” she asked with a mixture of wise crack and concern in her voice.  
“Shush,” I answered, resenting her tone, “keep it quiet will you.”  
She’s going to be 13 soon, her body formed curves almost daily. She wasn’t an angelic child anymore, she was transforming into an opiniated teen who was preparing for the Olympics trial, that thought often frightened me.   
“Guess what?” she whispered, with some excitement in her watery blue eyes.  
Annoyed at the excitement in her eyes, I frowned but nodded because as usual my curiosity got the better of me.  
“Lou is coming to the funeral,” I looked at her, but I wasn’t surprised. Lou kept in touch with us, and sometimes visited, always wanting to know about our progress. He was a welcomed guess at my grandparents, they appreciated how much he cared.  
Kate started to look nervous, trying to tell me what came next.  
“What??” I asked, feeling an uneasy inkling creep through.  
“He’s coming with his wife.”  
‘WIFE??’ When did that happen?? He never mentioned a wife the last time we spoke to him.  
“Oh no,” I replied, when the realisation that Mrs Flax was also on her way here.  
“Uh-huh,” she nodded, knowing that I caught on of what could be a disaster.  
“Oy veh, we will have to make sure she behaves at the funeral,” hissed Aunt Maggie who overheard, out of anyone in the world there’s no one else who could get under her skin like my mother could.  
Nervously standing at the entrance of the synagogue wasn’t my ideal way of saying my final farewell to my beloved Grandmother. I stood among my family, Zay-dee, Aunt Maggie, her sons and Kate, welcoming and accepting everyone condolences as they came to pay their respect for Busia. I was not looking forward for Mrs Flax reaction to Lou and his new wife, and I wasn’t happy that she was late.  
As the crowd of unfamiliar faces passed, the well-known short figure of Lou walked towards us, dress in plain black suit with a slightly taller woman on his arm. He looked good and as he approached I noticed he looked neater than he usually did.   
“Hello Charlotte, Kate, I am so very sorry for your loss,” said his wife, who warmly took my hand into her plump hands. I noticed her wedding ring and an engagement ring with a pearl surrounded with tiny diamonds.  
“Thank-you,” I responded, looking at her trying to work out how I knew this woman because she seemed so familiar. Her greying chestnut hair was elegantly coiffed in an updo, she wore no make-up, but she radiated a glow from within that drew you in and as I gazed into her grey eyes, it dawned on me.   
“Mother Superior?” I whispered in shock. She lost quiet a bit of weight, which was why I found it hard to pin point to who she was.  
“Not anymore,” Lou said quietly.  
Kate mouth gaped while she stood beside me, dismayed by this reveal. I had to elbow her to close her mouth and not make a seen.  
Mother Superior, or former Mother Superior, patted Lou on the arm gently coaxing him to behave. He looked at her sheepishly, like a little boy who got caught doing something naughty, then straightened up.   
Lou moved forward towards Jay-dee, who looked touched that he came.  
“Hello Mr Flax, I cannot express how deeply sorry we are of your loss,” he directed Mother Superior, no no, former Mother Superiors, attention towards Zay-dee’s, “this is my wife Grace.”  
Oy veh, I struggled to wrap my head to what I was seeing, and I dreaded the reaction of Mrs Flax even more watching the pair disappear into the crowd. For Lou hadn’t married my mother, he married a former nun.  
“Oh, my, God!” I heard Kate breathed, looking at the incoming group of people.  
Curiously I looked at the same direction, and I swore I could feel my anxiety go through the roof.  
There was Mrs Flax, walking into the Synagogue. She stood out prominently in a black dress with grey polka dots, black patent high heels and she inappropriately had make-up on compared to everyone else who were following tradition of plain clothes and no make-up. I would have to say her make-up was toned down a little, with a pale pink lipstick and pink eyeshadow compared to her usual flamboyant rouge.  
But my disappointment infested, and I couldn’t help to wonder. ‘Couldn’t she be like everyone else for only a couple of hours?? Even for the sake of her own mother??’  
“My girls,” she whimpered a little loudly, spreading her arms wide walking to us. She scooped Kate and I into her arms, whimpering some more. Her tears were genuine, making it hard for me to keep being mad at her, which was a repeating theme in our mother daughter relationship.  
“it’s ok Mom,” Kate said breaking the embrace a little, “how have you been?”  
“I can’t believe she’s gone, I’ve been crying since I found out.”  
I tried to reject the tug at my heart string hearing her say those words, it seemed impossible.  
“Maggie, Daddy,” Mrs Flax whimpered, repeating her embrace on them.  
I watched Aunt Maggie stiffly pat Mrs Flax on the back, while my mother had one of her arms looped around her neck. I knew that she also was finding it hard to not let Mrs Flax genuine emotions get to her.  
Unlike Aunt Maggie, Zay-dee melted into my mothers’ other arm, embracing her back with all he had.  
Finally, Mrs Flax slowly pulled away, to stand beside Kate and I, with my heightened anxiety intact.  
I watch as the last group of people walk past, instantly recognising Mrs Flax. There were a quiet lot of men who’s eyes lit up after seeing her, most of them had their wives’ claws dug into their arms deeper at the sight of Mrs Flax. My mother always said she was a popular girl in this town.  
As the sermon was about to begin, we followed the crowd inside the synagogue. I walked by Mrs Flax’s side and stopped when I could feel her stiffen at my side, and realised she saw Lou with his new wife. Kate must have felt it too.  
“I think I’ll go sit with them, and keep them away from her,” she whispered in my ear, trying not to let our mother hear us.  
I nodded at her, and linked my arm with Mrs Flax, to steer her away. To my relief Daniel noticed and came to my rescue, helping to coax Mrs Flax away from Lou.  
We finally sat, in a row of seats set up for the immediate family connected to Busia. I gathered all of my will to concentrate on the summon despite finding myself wedged in between Mrs Flax and Aunt Maggie. They were both crying and grieving their loss, I was also grieving but couldn’t help comparing Kate and I to them, our relationship was very similar, then there was another thought. I felt like those cartoon characters, you know the ones? With a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other? One would try to steer you the wrong way while the other tried to show you the right way. That’s how I felt.  
“Can you believe that man??” Mrs Flax fumed later in the evening long after the funeral was over.  
Kate sat on Mrs Flax guess bed, while my mother attempted to brush her hair. A failed attempt to bond with our mother, because she couldn’t stop talking about Lou and his new wife.  
“You left him remember?” I pointed out, tired from a long sad day and listening to Mrs Flax fuming.  
“It’s humiliating,” Mrs Flax insisted.  
“This was supposed to be peaceful,” Kate reminded us.  
“He married a nun. Out of all women in the world, he’s a Jewish man who married a former nun.”  
I had enough, I couldn’t take much of it anymore. I was tired and couldn’t keep my eyes open for very long. So I decided to get up and go to bed. I couldn’t understand her problem. As I pointed out she was the one who left the man, and he was nothing but kind to her, even after all she did.  
When he came over to say his condolence after the sermon, he did it out of respect and kindness. The in love gaze he used to give her was gone, that was bestowed upon his wife now. As weird as it was to see the former mother superior, named Grace be the wife in Lou’s arms. I was also happy for her, after all these years of loving Lou from afar she finally became Mrs Landsky.  
Drifting into sleep, I also wondered what Lou and Zay-dee talked about, as I recalled it peaked Zay-dee’s interest.


	3. Chapter 3

Driving to college from Minerva to Pittsburgh takes a lot of my time, especially since I wasn’t a very fast driver. While driving it doesn’t take long for my over active mind to start what it does best, thinking.  
It’s been three months since the funeral, and still there is no letters from Joe. David’s knowing look when I kept on checking the mail was beyond unbearable, I was however thankful that he didn’t say anything, I’m grateful to Sonora for that. I stopped watching the news and refused to read the newspaper, the horrifying reports and images from the war literally gave me nightmares.  
Life seemed to have gone back to normal. The bakery store is running as usual, David and Aunt Maggie did most of the baking, relieving Jay-dee from the burden of doing it all on his own. There wasn’t a day that we didn’t miss Busia, and I know Zay-dee’s the one who misses her the most.  
Sonora, Aunt Maggie and I took turns cooking meals for the family, I sat with Jay-dee on the porch when I could, and Kate took over when I couldn’t. If you didn’t know already, I don’t like change very much. I know it sounds ridiculous since I moved around a lot with Mrs Flax, but I always got around it by setting up the places we moved to the exact same way as possible. I didn’t have to do that for a long time and I was beginning to realise that there were a lot of changes that I am going to need to adapt to, and I’m not looking forward to a lot of them.  
As a way to escape my worries, I started to write stories, figment of my imagination laid out on paper was gratifying but I was unsure how I would make a living solely on doing that. So while in high school, I decided I wanted to be a teacher, which potentially could lead me to a real job, I didn’t want to be like Mrs Flax doing odd jobs here and there. For some peculiar reason, I excelled in English Literature, Ms Ryan my English teacher, persisted that I should do more than that.  
“Charlotte, your writing is so deep, it profoundly draws you into your stories, you should really consider being a writer, teaching can be a job you can fall back on.” She encouraged me to do an acceleration program that led straight to a Master Degree. Being a woman trying to finish a Master Degree was very rare, and an enormous challenge. I needed a distraction to keep my mind off Joe, so I worked hard at it even through the summer, which meant this year was my final year.  
Hmm!! Strange how things work out, Mrs Flax met my father during a writing class and nothing came of it except me. A thought that worried me. Being the only young woman in the class with 19 men, I got a lot of attention. Resembling Mrs Flax and inheriting her curves didn’t help. I could not let myself fall in the same pattern, not that any of them stood a chance, it was just disruptive.  
So, a few days after Busia’s funeral and the Jewish tradition of a week of morning, I took it upon myself to fix the situation. I cut my hair and wore plain clothes, I was determined not to fail.  
“Oh, my, God!!” Hollered Kate in surprise, when she came into my room, so I’d help her iron her long red hair she was particular about lately. “Big sis, you’re not reconsidering on being a nun, are you??”  
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I snarled, guiding her to the ironing board and set the iron on low, to get this thing over and done with. I didn’t want to be late for class.  
“Oy, ah, veh!!” was Aunt Maggie’s reaction, when I tried to say goodbye before leaving for college that day. My cheeks started to burn when all eyes, were on me and it wasn’t because of the baking at the back of the store.  
“A bit like Audrey Hepburn,” Zay-dee commented, trying to be encouraging.  
Kate ran her hand in what she could on my head, and said, “Nahh, more like Mia Farrow.”  
“Shush,” I brushed her off, clinging to my books and my bag. I looked in the small mirror, which was used to check your reflection before going to serve a customer as did Kate. I made sure my hair was alright while Kate pinched her cheeks. A tradition the Flax women did to keep rosy cheeks, but I didn’t pinch mine, I wanted to be dull Charlotte, so I could achieve my goal. I intended to keep my promise to Joe and Busia.  
Parking my mint Ford Tudor in the driveway, I could hear the phone ring from outside, it was ringing for a while and I hurried through the kitchen door. Sonora had her hand buried in a chicken trying to prepare dinner, and I could hear music from upstairs, very likely from Kate’s room. I live all my books and my bag on the kitchen table to answer the phone just before it cut off.  
“Hello?”  
“Hi,” Daniels voice boomed through the receiver, “What’s going on there? Thought no one was going to answer.”  
I giggled, “you know what it’s like, we’re busy, busy people.”  
He chuckled, it has been a while since we could do that.  
“How are you?” He asked, like he always did weekly.  
“I’m ok, how are you?” I replied, we had a special bond he and I, like the brother I never had. Maybe I did have a brother, but I’ll never know since my father was completely out of my life. Any hope of him coming back into my life dashed on that night in Grove.  
“Same old, same old, working hard at the office, seeing dozens of patients and come home to an empty apartment.”  
“What happened to the girl you were talking about the other time?”  
“I got too busy, and she found a guy who had time,” Daniel said brushing off his woes, “have you gotten a letter yet?”  
He didn’t have to mention whose letter, I knew exactly who he meant, and I sighed, “No, I’ve been thinking, do you think his sister might know where he is?”  
There was a short silence, before he said, “Charlotte, if this man means so much to you, yeah! maybe it’s time you went straight to the source.”  
“It’s a long way to Florida,” I said, feeling the weight of the whole world on me.  
“It won’t be long until you graduate..”  
“If I graduate.”  
“You are, you’re going to graduate.’ He chuckled, “and as I was saying, it’s going to be summer. I could take a few days off and we could go together, if you’d like.”  
I almost fell off the chair, “you’d do that for me?”  
“Of course,” he insisted, “we’re family and I want you to be happy.”  
Why hasn’t this man found a wife yet? He’s the sweetest.  
“Thanks, it’d be great to finally get some answers.”  
After our little chat, I was a ball of excitement and anxiety. I couldn’t wait to know what happened but at the same time I dreaded the thought of hearing anything bad that happened to Joe.  
“Who died??” Kate asked, when I reached the entrance to her room.  
“KATE!!” I exclaimed at her inappropriate comment, entered her room and turned off her loud Jimi Hendrex music or whatever his name was.  
“Hey, what’s the problem, big sis?” Kate said standing, with wet hair, “Take a chill pill.”  
I stood in the middle of her room, stunned and furious. Her walls were covered with posters of Cher, Jimi Hendrix and her obsession Mark Spitz, they were adorned with colored paper cut out of flowers and peace signs, which was new. I was so busy getting through my studies and taking care of Zaydee I didn’t pay close attention to all of this.  
“How was your swimming session?” I asked, it was what I came to find out in the first place.  
“Great, I broke 2 second off my best time.”  
She wasn’t the adorable little girl anymore, she’d be old enough to be in the Olympics next year which was exciting, but time was flying past way too fast, at least for me. Her training regime were more evolved than before for her trial coming up and the results were showing. Her muscles were a bit more pronounce, her shoulders a bit broader, her long legs went on for miles and she was a little more developed than the last time I remembered.  
“That’s great, but just remember to keep it down” I said and quietly retreated to my room. It was hard to stay mad a Kate, a bit like Mrs Flax. Oh, how I’d hate to bring up a teenage Mrs Flax, but parenting wasn’t meant to be something easy reflecting on what my mother revealed to me once.

It didn’t take long for the heat of summer to arrive, I was knee deep in completing my final papers and preparing for my exams when I knew I forgot something, but I didn’t know what. Everything in my life was a bit of a blur, and waiting for my results, the nerves my gosh, it didn’t help.  
Drained in my bed, I slept for what felt like a week, and I was woken up in the morning by a strawberry cake lit up with candles.  
As I straightened up, I saw Aunt Maggie holding it with Kate to her left and Zay-dee on her right.  
“Happy Birthday precious,” she said with an excited voice.  
“It’s my birthday?”  
“Oh, my, god!” Kate gasped “you forgot your birthday?”  
“Oy Veh,” Jay-dee exclaimed, waving his arms and sat next to me, “give the poor girl a brake, she’s been working very hard.” He wrapped an arm around me and pecked me on the cheek.  
“Happy Birthday, matoq sheli.”  
“Thanks.” I quietly said, embarrassed I forgot my own birthday.  
“Make a wish,” insisted Aunt Maggie and I obliged by blowing 21 candles.  
“Today will be about us girls, chilling and shopping,” squealed an eager Kate. I thought I’d spend the whole day in my pyjamas, a favourite past time of mine.  
“What about school?”  
“Earth to Charlotte, schools out.”  
“Oh!” I said, boy I am really out of it.  
“Come on, let’s go downstairs and have some cake,” Jay-dee encouraged, helping me out of bed.  
The fresh strawberries, the fresh cream and layers of soft sponge, melted in my mouth as soon as my teeth sank into the cake. This is why for decades the bakery store was a local favourite.  
The fog in my head almost cleared up with a cup of coffee, I should definitely have another.  
“Matoq sheli, I didn’t want to bring this up, I’m just concerned.”  
I looked up from my cup, waiting to hear what worried my grandfather.  
“Are you really going to go all the way to Florida to get some answers about Joe?”  
Nodding I answered, “Yes, I am. But I’m not going alone. Daniel’s coming with me.”  
Jay-dee understood, I could tell from the look in his eyes and his sly smile.  
“You remind me a lot of your mother you know, my Racheal.”  
I looked in horror at him, not liking the comparison at all and he chuckled.  
“Matoq sheli, you don’t have to do the exact same thing to be like somebody,” he explained, “it’s the way you fight for what you believe in and the strength you’ve demonstrated through the years. My Margaretta. And Kate, Oy veh,” he chuckled some more, looking at Kate, “she’s quite a fighter too. I can say as a father and a grandfather I am a very proud man.”  
The day was very pleasant so far, staring at a beige go go boots on a sales rack at Aunt Maggies favourite boutique, Jay-dee touching words ran over and over in my head.  
The boots evoked the memory of the beige vinyl boots I had when I was younger, they were the only gift I ever received from my father. A father who disappointed me over and over again by failing to show up. He proved to be unreliable, untrustworthy and unloving. The night I lost my virginity to Joe, my so called father was suppose to come to see me that day and as usual he didn’t show. I was so angry that my reasoning was blurred. I drank some alcohol, let my 6 year old sister drink some too which led to our disastrous night. After some time later, it didn’t take long to realise how I already had reliable caring men in my life, like Lou, Zay-dee and Joe. Therefore, I didn’t need a father who simply wasn’t there, so I used the outdoor barbecue at my grandparents to set the boots and the yellow stain photo of a man’s shoes who I believed was my father on fire. In other words, I barbecued my boots and a torn photograph.  
Deep in thought, I picked up the beige gogo boots and examined it, it was made out of leather, it had low heels, the inside was lined with a satin like material, which felt divine when I put my hand inside and I could imagine how it’d feel on my feet. However, I was disappointed that it wasn’t in my size, it was way too small. I didn’t want to have painful shoes like I used to, there was no need to punish myself for someone else’s sin. Disappointed, I put it down, at the same time as a woman returned a brown pair of the exact same style. I checked the size as soon as she left, and these ones were perfect.  
Aunt Maggie sat next to me when I tried them on.  
“Nice boots,” she commented, admiring it. I’ve learnt through the years while shopping with her we had quite similar tastes. “You know,” she went on, “you won’t be able to wear them for a while, right?”  
“I know, but it’s 70% off,” I insisted, knowing she wouldn’t say no to a bargain.  
“Ooh!! Well then, I’ll just have to buy these ones as well,” she said, holding up a pair of low heel beaded sandals, they resembled beaded moccasins that Joe used to wear.  
When we first arrived at the house since the accident, most of our belongings were damaged except for the clothes on our backs. My aunt almost went berserk shopping clothes for us, I figured it was due to the lack of daughters. Unlike Mrs Flax she didn’t suggest anything provocative, which was the main reason I hated shopping with Mrs Flax.  
“I love them too,” I gasped.  
“What about those?” Kate suggested, showing me a pair of patent red with platform wedges. To which my aunt and I answered together, “NO!”  
Later that day, I came out to see what they thought of the last outfit, after an hour of trying on many dresses.  
I personally thought the olive, knotted halter neck chiffon dress, which flared at the bottom matched the earthy tone of the beaded sandals.  
“Lovely,” Aunt Maggie simply said, clapping her hands together in approval.  
“It looks like a green Marilyn Monroe dress,” commented Kate, she shrugged, “I guess it’s cool.”  
Meaning it was ok, to her standards. Any hoo!! It was my birthday and tomorrow I was graduating, it was my treat to myself and I didn’t want to be plain Charlotte on those two days.  
We had a banquet for dinner after my graduation, Zay-dee, Kate and Aunt Maggie, were emotional with pride and so was I. I wore my dress and beaded sandals, not caring on who stared. I kept my promise and that was all that mattered. To my surprise Daniel showed up on my birthday, a day earlier than I expected.  
“I told you, you were going to graduate,” he said while I was deep in thought sitting next to me at the dinner.  
“It was hard to tell if I was going to make it, with everything that’s happened so far.”  
He looked down at his plate, visibly reflecting on the hardship we were all facing at the beginning of this year, with Busia’s passing away. Then he slightly looked up and gave me a gentle smile.  
“Are you ready for our trip tomorrow?”  
I bit my bottom lip, letting him see how nervous I was, “I packed two days ago.”  
“I was thinking we should divide our trip into two, we’ll stop half way in Charlotte, South Carolina. Then continue from there.”  
“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Jay-dee agreed, over hearing our conversation.  
The city half way between Minerva and Tampa, Florida, was called Charlotte? It almost sounded like destiny. Charlotte no, stop it, stop obsessing, I told myself. Another thought persisted, this was really happening, in two days I will find out what happened to Joe. Then another nagging concept crept through, what if he found someone else? And he was there with her? I’ve met a few couples who have met each other while they were in Vietnam, soldiers who fell in love with their nurses. Couples like David and Sonora. My stomach sank.  
Daniel patted my arm, breaking my crazy train of thoughts.  
“Hey, stop worrying. I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”  
We went to bed early that night, and I doubt I was going to be able to get any sleep. I double checked my bag for the essentials.  
My long swiping white nightie with capped sleeves, was in there. It was one of 6 Jane Austin style nightgowns donated to me by Aunt Maggie, according to her they didn’t fit her anymore, apparently, she used to wear them when she was younger. They were all well kept since they were old, and wearing them was so comfortable, because it was loose, they allowed me to move. I religiously wore them, sometimes all day when I could.  
My pale pink kimono like dressing gown which I wore in the summer time, also was in there, along with my A-line denim skirt, a sleeveless safari shirt, a plain tan t-shirt, a bohemian skirt printed with yellow flowers, bras, underwear, toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush, deodorant, lip balm… This was really happening, I’m potentially going to see Joe again, in 2 days.  
“Did you get any sleep?” asked Daniel at the bottom of the stairs in the morning, looking at me with a knowing look and a smirk. I was sitting at the kitchen table with hot coffee, freshly baked rolls and spreads waiting for him, ready for our 4 day trip. Embarrassed I shrugged, like a kid who got caught with their hands in a cookie jar.  
He placed his duffle bag close to mine by the door and gave me another one of his cheeky smiles and chuckled.  
“Coffee?” I said getting up trying to keep myself busy.  
“Sure.”  
Aunt Maggie hurriedly came in with a big bag of bread, flask of coffee and other goodies.  
“Oh veh, it is so busy in the store today, I came in quickly to give you these before you left, so you don’t get hungry on the road,” she looked flustered, “have a good trip, ok.” She pecked us both hard on the cheeks, and just like that she was gone.  
“Thanks Mom,” Daniel called after her. She waved her hand without looking back as she made her way to the back of the store, to signal that she heard and swiftly stepped inside.  
We finished our breakfast, cleaned up and headed to the car in the driveway. To our surprise, Jay-dee got up from the porch swing, not realising that he was there all this time.  
“I cleaned up the wind screen for your trip,” he said walking with us to the car, he put his hand on my shoulder, “remember matoq sheli, we will be here waiting for you when you get home. Have a safe trip.” He pecked me on the cheek, held me close then he shook Daniels hand and embraced him, “Shalom my boy, take care.”  
As I took my car keys out, Daniel outstretch his hand towards me. I looked at him puzzled.  
“We’re driving a long way, and you haven’t had enough sleep.”  
Ever since Joe gave me the car, it was only me who drove the car and I know that Daniel was right, yet it felt like I was handing over my baby.  
“Come on,” he encouraged, “hand it over.”  
In slow motion, I extended my hand with the car key dangling from my fingers and reluctantly handed him the keys.  
He swiftly packed our bags into the boot, opened the car door for me, walked to the other side of the car. When he finally got in, he placed the bag Aunt Maggie gave us in the back seat, when he put the key in the ignition and turned it on, it felt weird to be a passenger in my own car, the last time it happened it was with Joe.  
“Do you mind?” Daniel asked his fingers lingering over the radio push buttons.  
“No, not at all.”  
Daniel pressed a channel, and Elvis Presley came on, I giggled. As it turns out Daniel was a big Elvis fan, I guess he was ok. Now it was my dear cousin who gave me an embarrassed glance.  
We waved at Zay-dee as we drove off, and we were on our way, to Joe’s sisters house. I took a postcard with the address on it, out of my pocket and caressed it. ‘It won’t be long now, my love,’ I thought.  
Resting my head against the side of the car, and watching the changing scenery go past as he drove. It didn’t take long for me to drift off as the car moved and the warm sun relaxed me.  
I awoke to a tap on the shoulder. At first, I didn’t know where I was, the location was very foreign to me. I remembered how I hated that feeling all these years escaping Mrs Flax’s beaus to another state. Straightening up, I noticed an hour went by since the last time I looked at the clock, and we were outside of a gas station. Daniel filled up the car, went to pay and then disappeared in the lavatory. When he came out he walked towards me while I was sitting in the car, I wound down the window as he approached.  
“Hungry?” he asked.  
My stomach grumbled loudly involuntarily, and I sheepishly smiled. ‘If it’s not my mouth, my stomach was speaking for me.’ Embarrassing.  
We got out some food and drank the still warm coffee. My fifth cup of coffee, which I was beginning to find out was a bad idea with my anxiety. I rushed out of the car, headed straight to the lavatory, washed my shaky hands and went back into the car to a concern look on Daniel’s face.  
“Are you alright?”  
“I’m ok,” I said with a flushed face, “too much coffee.’”  
Daniel shuffled in the bag Aunt Maggie gave us, takes out a banana and one of two bottles of water.  
“Eat this and keep your fluids up, it will help it a bit.”  
“Really? Good thing you’re a doctor.”  
We headed back on the road, passing by a forest of pines when my ears perked up to one of Elvis’s songs that came on. I’m not one to really listen to him but the song got to me as I listened to the words.  
‘Love letters straight from your heart, keeps us so near while apart. I’m not alone in the night, when I can have all the love you write.’  
Tears welled up in my eyes as it went on, it was like he was singing about my life.  
‘I memorise every line, and I kiss the name that you sign, then darling then I read again right from the start, love letters straight from your heart.’  
I lifted my knees up to my chin on the seat, hugging it close while wiping my tears. Daniel patted me on the shoulder while keeping his other hand on the wheel, knowing how this song was affecting me. I was crying to Elvis? Ironic, while most girls in my teens were religiously following Elvis Presley, The Beatles and The Ronettes, I was obsessed with becoming a nun. Falling in love with Joe altered my plans and I must say that I am in a far better place than I originally thought then.  
Just before the song could end, Daniel changed the channel only to have, ‘crying over you’, blast through the speakers, he changed it again, when another sad song played.  
‘How can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from falling down? How can you stop the sun from shining? What makes the world go round?’  
He changed it again, to have, ‘why do birds go on singing? Why to stars glow above? Don’t they know it’s the end of the world? It ended when I lost your love.’  
Frustrated he changed it back to the Elvis channel, where an up-beat song finally came on.  
At this point the sting of those sad song wore off a little, and I was seeing how ridiculously funny the situation was, I snickered. It didn’t take long for me to infect him with my fits of giggles, he started to laugh too, taking the edge off the tension.  
After five hours of driving and stopping for a rest in between, we finally got to Charlottes. To my surprise, it was a bustling city, if I remembered correctly it’s where part of the Civil Rights movements took place, I may like it here.  
Daniel and I kept an eye for a vacant motor in, until we finally found one. Manger Motor Inn was like nothing I’ve ever seen before and believe me when I tell you I’ve seen my share of motels and motor inns. It was a rectangle shaped building connected to a cylinder shape structure, made of mostly glass panels in the centre of columns made of concrete and steel beams. The blue and white building stood out from the other colonial style buildings and greenery.  
We went up to the reception, where a young perky lady smiled at us from behind the desk.  
“Good afternoon, welcome to Manger Motor Inn, may I help you?” Her voice was just as perky as her exterior.  
“Ah, yes, we wanted to know if you had a twin room or a connecting room available for us?” asked Daniel in an assertive voice.  
“You and your wife wouldn’t prefer a double room?”  
“Oh no!!” I immediately butted in, “we’re not married.”  
“Oh! Oh. kay. Let me just check,” she said with bulging eyes and a reddening face, she looked down at her books, “looks like we do have a twin room on the second floor, would you like to book that?”  
“Yes please,” Daniel responded.  
I was taking out my purse out of my pocket when Daniel stopped me.  
“No, it’s on me.”  
“But you’re doing so much already.”  
“If repaying me means that much to you, you could make me some chocolate slice, they are just as good as Busia’s.”  
“That’s all you want?”  
“Yes, I missed them, and I miss her,” he insisted.  
It was then I became aware, he’s trying to help me mend my broken heart, and I began to wonder was I able to do the same for him?  
He finalised the paper work while I looked around, I noticed that inside the cylinder part of the building there was a restaurant.  
“Hungry?” Daniel asked in my ear, startling me. I didn’t know he had already finished with Miss Perky there.  
“But we’re not quite dressed,” I remarked, looking at his pale blue shirt and beige trousers.  
“That’s no problem, they usually provide jackets for patrons under dressed.”  
Of course, I didn’t know, I don’t remember eating at a proper restaurant before, I’ve eaten at diners of course but never restaurants. Daniel on the other hand, being a doctor, he attended conferences and dinner meetings all the time.  
“What about me?” Nervously looking down at my long fawn coloured bohemian dress, with draw strings at the waist and short laced sleeves and trimmings. Was it appropriate? It did look good with my sandals, which I brought hoping it would bring me luck.  
“You look fine,” he showed me coupons he was holding in his hands, “complements of this fine motor inn, for staying the night. We could freshen up before we go in there if you like.”  
We made our way to the lift, when we got to the second floor, we passed by 5 doors before he took the key to open door 105, then switched on the lights.  
On custard colored carpets there were two beds made of walnut wood. Puffy clouds of white pillows, mattress and duvets framed with flat panels with no embellishments with two other flat panels protruded a little from the moss green wall above the head board.  
Daniel went to examine one the top panels, there was a string hanging in the corner of it.  
“It’s a lamp,” he commented, after he tugged it.  
It explained why they didn’t have any lamps on each of the side tables also made of walnut wood.  
I walk deeper inside the room to examine the glowing light coming from outside, through sheer white curtains with opaque orange ones drawn to the sides. There on manicure grass was a dome, and from what I could tell was a round pool inside of it with concrete pavers encircling it. It looked just as out of this world as the exterior of the building.  
“It’s a pool,” informed Daniel, showing me the brochure beside me, “apparently, when you go in, you have to make sure you close the doors behind you, if both doors are open the dome deflates. Want to try it?”  
I looked at him in horror, “No thanks!”  
Beside from not bringing my bathers, I could have a dome collapsing over me if someone forgot to close both doors, I didn’t like that at all.  
Checking the time on the clock, there was still half an hour before dinner. I looked down at my dress and wasn’t impressed with the wrinkles, not having anything else appropriate to wear, I examined what they had in the closet on the opposite wall and was relieved to find an iron.  
“Do you mind if I used the bathroom first?” I asked.  
“No, go ahead,” he said, probing the bed with his fingers, then his fist and collapsed his whole body on the bed.  
I quickly got my robe out of my bag and headed to the bathroom, located closer to the entrance and exit door.  
The bathroom another oddity, custard floor tiles, with moss green marble like panels seamlessly covering the walls from top to bottom. The white round bowl shaped on pedestal, white toilet, and white sunken bathtub/shower with orange shower curtains all contrasted against the green. I was finding these modern changes curiously comical, to what I’m used to. Yet the moss green reminded me of the Easter at Grove when Joe followed me into the woods.  
I got out of the bathroom after removing my dress and put on my robe, while Daniel waited before he could go into the bathroom.  
“Whoa!” I heard when he went in and I giggled.  
I carefully place one of the bathroom towels on the bed, so I could delicately iron my dress. Noticing that Daniel was still in the bathroom, I swiftly closed the orange curtains and put on my dress before he got out, not wanting to waste time going into the bathroom again.  
“They’re not real marble,” he said when he got out, “not that you’d find real marble in an Inn.”  
I was dressed and almost ready to go. I liked my hair short, I thought looking at myself in the mirror there was something liberating about it. My eyes, cheek bones and most parts of my face weren’t hidden anymore by volumes of long hair. I couldn’t help to wonder what Joe would think of it.  
“We should head out now,” said Daniel, opening the door, “we need to have another early night, so we can leave early in the morning.”  
I quickly applied some lip gloss, pinched my cheeks and followed him out of the door.  
When we got to the restaurant it wasn’t a surprise by now that it had the modern style like the rest of the inn. It had custard colored ceiling, green and yellow patterned carpet, yellow leather chairs, with walnut wood tables and sheer white curtains that obscured prying eyes from outside. Despite the modern arrangements, it felt quiet cosy.  
Once more I couldn’t stop speculating how Joe would react to all of this and hoped that wherever he was, it was in a good place.  
Sitting across Daniel at the table, I imagined it was Joe instead as we spoke and ate together. It was the ultimate fantasy dining with Joe like I was with Daniel. Charlotte!!! You. Are. Weird. A voice of reason sounded in my head, and I knew it was right. My runaway imagination replaced Daniel my cousin with Joe.  
At the crack of dawn, I gave up on trying to sleep and proceeded to pack and get ready as quietly as I could. Daniel was sound asleep on the bed closest to the door, softly snoring, all curled up looking like a little boy instead of the sophisticated doctor he was when he’s awake.  
Looking in my bag, I decided to wear my plain tan t-shirt with my yellow bohemian print skirt, which of course matched my sandals. Just looking at them on my feet gave me more butterflies, my anxiety heightening thinking of our trip to Joe’s sisters house.  
As I was making coffee from the complementary bar and filling up the empty flask for our next trip, Daniel watched me from the bed.  
“Good morning!” he smirked, “you didn’t sleep last night, did you??”  
I gave him a knowing look, I couldn’t help it, this meant the world to me.  
He lifted the duvet off, revealing boxer shorts and singlet he was wearing. He headed to the bathroom with his bag, readying for another long trip.

We arrived in Tampa Florida, at almost 4 in the afternoon. The transition from the cooler parts of the country to the warmer parts amazed me, partially because I don’t recall travelling this way before.  
Taking out Joe’s postcard, Daniel and I examined the address trying to match it to a house. Most of the homes were on big to medium lots, the roads were paved with red bricks, it all looked pretty in the basking sun. Most of them had palm trees in their yards giving them a distinct feel, but when I spotted a baby blue wood board house with two palm trees at the entrance, the hairs at the back of my neck indicated to me that this was the place. Looking at the house number on the postcard, it matched the number on it’s letterbox, and my heart did somersaults in my chest. The medium baby blue house had a grey roof with white trimmings and mouldings, it was set on an angle on a big square lot. I could also make out the detached garage which seems to have a fairly large greenhouse beside it at the back.  
“Should we have called?” I mumbled hesitant to go in. Reality setting in at this point and I was frightened.  
“It will be fine,” Daniel assured, parking the car off the street close to the house.  
Looking back, I could see someone peering through the large window facing the front yard.  
Daniel got out of the car, and walked around to open the door for me, I sat there like a heavy log, my heart in my throat.  
“Come on, Charlotte,” he encourages again, holding out his hand.  
I mustered all I could and made my way on sandstone pavers which led to the front door, at the very start of the house. I admired the bright coloured bromeliads that were planted along the border of the path to the front door and wondered if Joe planted them.  
Just as I got on top of the steps and was about to knock, the door swung opened. Standing there was a woman with the same dark eyes as Joe, she had shiny black wavy hair that reached past her shoulders and the smoothest olive skin. I remember seeing a picture of Joe’s sisters once in his cabin at the convent, it was such a long time ago I couldn’t tell if she looked like one of them, but she did resemble Joe a little.  
“Charlotte?” She questioned, I was surprise I didn’t seem like a stranger to her. It was as if we knew each other but we have never met.  
I cleared my throat, “Hi, yes, I’m Charlotte. You must be Flora,” I replied hesitantly, and stretched out my hand to shake hers. She took my hand in hers but didn’t shake it, instead unexpectedly, she pulled me into her arms while I was in total shock.  
“As soon as I saw the car I knew it had to be you,” she said softly in my ear, still holding me close. Not ready to let me go, I gathered. “Joe has told me so much about you.”  
“I haven’t heard from him for a long time, so we came to see if he was ok,” I managed to say from her tight grip.  
“We?” She questioned, finally letting me go and I noticed a slight concerned in her eyes, “your husband?” She asked looking at Daniel.  
“No! No!,” Daniel chimed in, holding out his hand to greet her, “I’m Daniel, her cousin, I didn’t want her to be driving all this way on her own.”  
“Ohh, I see,” she said this time looking relieved, stepping aside she waved her hand “come in, come in.”  
Flora, Joe’s middle sister wasn’t very shy like Joe, I noticed, though she was just as warm and friendly.  
“Have you driven all the way from, what was it? Minerba?”  
“Minerva,” I replied, looking at my surroundings I felt tingles go through me, smelling the familiar aroma of tomatoes fill my nose and feeling Joe’s presence in some way.  
We were led through the living/dining room that had a large window facing the front yard, the one she must have peeped through I assumed. The walls were filled with framed pictures, pictures of Flora with her sisters, there were a few of Joe. There was one of him as a boy, his face all care free and innocent, another as a boy standing in the middle with his parents, one as a teenager in his football gear looking confident, one more laughing with his sisters and the last one he was dressed in his army uniform. Remembering Kerrie from Grove saying how he was the handsomest boy in town, and that he was, although in my humblest opinion he improved with age.  
I couldn’t stop looking at the photos, ones of their parents, and who I guest was her children and her husband. All strangers but somehow, I felt like I knew them all my life.  
“You must be hungry and thirsty after such a long trip?” commented Flora, while my eyes were glued to the photographs.  
“I don’t mind driving,” Daniel politely said.  
“Would you like some ice tea and some snacks?”  
“We really don’t want to trouble you,” I said giving her my full attention this time.  
“It’s no trouble at all, my kids and my husband went fishing. I decided to stay home due to me being pregnant and didn’t want to be out in the ocean in this heat. Besides, I’m feeling a bit peckish myself.”  
I watched her partly disappear behind the half wall which divided the living/dining room from the kitchen. I could see there was another large window with a glass door on the other side of the kitchen. I could vaguely make out that there was a porch off the kitchen through the other window. The furniture, the feel of the house made me think of the house in Grove, maybe it was because her family were the ones who built it I guessed.  
“So I take it that your trip went well?” Flora questioned a little loudly from the kitchen.  
“Ahh! Yes, we stopped half way in Charlotte and drove all the way down here.”  
“I hope you didn’t get lost,” she shouted again.  
“Oh, we didn’t, Daniel is a great navigator.”  
It wasn’t long until she came out, with ice tea and a tray of sliced Italian bread, with two bowls one filled with tomatoes, onions and basil, the other with olive oil. There was also spreads of cheese and pickled olives, the smells filled my nose and made my mouth water.  
As we started to eat and make small talk I couldn’t help but wonder when she was going to start talking about Joe, I didn’t want to be rude and persist on the matter.  
“Let me show you around,” she said getting up, “Want to see his studio at the back?”  
As usual, my curiosity peeked as I responded by standing up. She was stalling again. I wanted answers to; what happened to Joe? And, where he was? I continued to wait patiently for those answers, yet it was making me feel uneasy.  
We were led through the kitchen to the back, once more it reminded me of the house in Grove, with the pale yellow coloured rustic style cabinets, with white tiled benchtops. Unlike Grove, the oven had an arch shape vent with columns on each side all made of stone. Beside the oven was a small shelf full of spices and herbs. The smell of tomatoes, basil and olive oil lingering strongly in the air. I had a distinct feeling like my grandparents Flora loved to cook.  
We walked through the French doors, reminding me of the bakery back home, onto sand colored stones pavers, surrounded by rustic outdoor furniture and an outdoor oven. Behind it was the glasshouse, it looked partially abandoned. Flora passed it and headed straight to the hidden barn, an added block behind the garage, all painted in the same baby blue as the main house, which was approximately 17 by 20 feet.  
She opened the only door on the side of the building, and we immediately walked into a kitchen where the picture of his mother was among the spices. The main room consisted of a kitchen, eating area, sitting area, a hidden bed and closed bathroom. The walls were all painted white except for the kitchen which was partially covered with terracotta tiles, the vaulted ceiling was also white with exposed wood trusses, it made the room feel light and airy despite being a medium sized room. The wood floor and black/white checkerboard tiles in the kitchen area and Cherokee rug near the lounge added some interest in a barely furnished room.  
Familiar pieces that I’ve seen from his cottage at the convent were there too, like the pictures of birds he photographed hung neatly on the walls as well as the one of his sisters dancing, and the rocking chair I once sat on watching him sleep while he was sick a long time ago in Grove was placed in the lounge. As we lingered further into the barn, my curiosity led me to see his bed, hidden behind the two book shelves filled with books and framed pictures of more family members. His double bed was made of dark wood, the mattress laid on drawers and had a shelf on the other side, it was placed against the wall to maximise what little room he had. A couple of books were on the shelf, with a lamp and a picture of me, touchingly placed closest to his pillows. He had a couple of clothes hanging on the wooden clothes rack, mainly his corduroy pants, plaid shirt and heavy jacket. I guessed he didn’t need them much in the heat of Florida or had any use for them in the jungles of Vietnam. I fought hard not to reach out, to hold them to my nose and inhale his scent, if it was still there.  
“Would you like to see the greenhouse?” Flora made me jump from my intense daydream.  
We followed her out of the cabin, straight into the greenhouse.  
“There isn’t much left.” She commented as Daniel and I observed that there was only a small patch of vegetables growing in the corner, the fairly big greenhouse had rows of empty trays which should be filled with growing seedlings.  
“It hasn’t been the same since he left, and we didn’t want to continue this without him,” she said in a sad tone, making my stress levels go up.  
“Where is he?” I finally asked feeling a dread in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to see him now, his presence was there, where he lived, in his belongings, and in the things his built. It made me long for him more than ever.  
“I think it’s better we go back inside,” My stomach clench further with Flora’s sombre voice, and the more she avoided the subject, the worst it got.  
Daniel held my shoulder, reminding me I wasn’t alone.  
We sat again in the living/dining room, back to our seats and watched Flora’s demeanour change from her cheery up beat self to someone grappled with pain. She took a very deep breath and held my hand.  
“I’m so sorry to give you this news Charlotte, I received a letter from the military a while ago, informing me that Joe is missing in action,” tears rolled out of her eyes as they rolled out of mine, ”we weren’t sure how to reach you since he’s taken all your letters with him and he’s never mentioned of your last name.”  
I nodded understanding their circumstance, I sucked in air through my mouth, finding it hard to breathe upon this piece of information.  
David’s words from a while ago echoed in my head then, ‘When a soldier is missing for that long, it usually means that he’s dead Charlotte. I’m not saying this to hurt you but you’re going to have to face the reality of this situation. The Vietnam War isn’t a walk in the park, it’s a messy, chaotic, unpredictable beast, our first-class military had to turn on it’s head to adjust to it.’  
Flora wiped my tears with her fingers, it was odd that she had a calming affect on me like Joe did.  
“I thought by now someone would have snatched you up and you’d be going on with your life. I’m guessing he meant as much to you as he did to me. It’s so hard Charlotte, thinking of our sweet Joe in the dirt of an unforsaken jungle out there in Vietnam. I can’t bring myself to ever think of him dead, not until they bring me back his body.”  
I wasn’t liberated by the information I got, there weren’t any conclusive answers as I hoped for. I suppose like his family, I was a prisoner in limbo not knowing for sure if Joe was really dead or alive.


End file.
